Perspective

This post has been swirling around in my mind for a few weeks after a frustrating exchange with my Christian social worker. She had come to do our 6 month post-placement report for Kate and Zoey and admitted that she thought twice about approving us for the girls. She had eventually decided that we did in fact, have 'enough space' for them.

Enough space?

So the size of our house is the most compelling reason to approve or deny a child a home?

She said, "I have other clients who ask me to approve them for 12 kids and I tell them no. At what point does it just become a group home?"

I understand her desire to make sure that parents can handle that many children. However, it wasn't so long ago that it was fairly normal for people to have very large families. Birth control didn't exist. Large homes were far from the norm. This country was built on the backs of pioneers who had large families and lived and traveled in (gasp) a 4 x 9 covered wagon. Once in their homes, those homes were quite small.

I responded that there is a very big difference between a group home and an adoptive family. Group homes are a stopping point where children can get a roof over their heads and three meals a day. Families are where you B.E.L.O.N.G. Someone gives you their N.A.M.E. Someone says that no matter where life takes you, you can always come H.O.M.E. "

She responded that yes, kids need to belong, but they need to have enough space.

I slowly responded that Americans have much larger homes than any other country in the world. She didn't respond and not wanting to offend, I left it at that.

But I was ticked.

When did space become more important than this?

When did having enough room to put our overflowing closet and dressers, become more important than this?

Has our perspective in America become so skewed that we think piano lessons, soccer games, and college funds are more important than saving a life? I know that some people think our kids are 'missing out' on some of the things that 'normal' families do. It's true that our kids are not involved in three sports or music lessons and that we stay home a lot. But they have a FAMILY who loves them. If they didn't live here with us, they would be in an orphanage. They would belong to NO ONE. Even if they had some opportunities in their home countries for education, who would they come home to at holidays?

I signed the girls up for school yesterday (sob), and the staff was shaking their heads in disbelief at our '10 kids!' There was a hint of disapproval in their eyes as they seemed to be wondering how I could care for so many children. If not for God's help, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to. But

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil. 4:13

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