Thursday, September 23, 2010

Re-post: Why I Am Not The Person For This Job

I have felt like God was leading me to re-post this blog post that I wrote awhile back. So here you go...

I am not the right person for the job of being a Mom to ten kids. There. I said it.

Over the years I have heard a myriad of reasons why people cannot adopt. Sometimes they look at me and say they couldn't do what I do...I must be a saint...blah,blah, blah.

I want you to know that I am definitely NOT a saint in the way that they are thinking.

The point of this post is to declare the truth of this verse. (God says) "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in (your)weakness." (Then the apostle Paul says) "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

You see, I never had any desire to have a large family. I don't even like kids. hahahaha Seriously....When I volunteer for something at church, it has almost always been a ministry to adults. I don't like kids crafts, kids activities, etc. Even as a kid, I preferred the company of adults. I did want have children, though...maybe two or three.

But then, God gave me the gift of infertility. He opened my eyes to a whole new world. The 'gift' at the time didn't feel like a gift. It hurt. Deeply. It was devastating every month to find out that my arms would be empty once again.

After 7.5 years, He blessed us with our first son and four years later another, both through the miracle of adoption. When our youngest was four, I attended a women's retreat where we were challenged to pray, "God, break my heart with something that breaks yours."

I began to pray that prayer and several months later, God showed me the need in China. A year later we traveled to adopt Jillian and we came home changed.

Dramatically changed.
Never had I seen with my own eyes living conditions that caused me to feel so uncomfortable with my own. Why was it that I lived in such luxury while others had so little? Was it possible that God wanted us to share more of what we had with those who had so little?

And so we began to pray that He would show us how we could help--and that He would break our hearts enough to take action. And in a few short weeks, He made it clear He wanted us to adopt again.

As the years passed, He has sent us again and again to China and once to Guatemala. Each time I ask Him what He is thinking asking ME?! I mean, I'm willing, but wouldn't it be better to send someone who would do a better job? You know like someone who could:
*stay organized
*do lots of fun kid activities
*read lots and lots of stories, play games, etc.
*someone who had lots of patience
*someone who didn't yell
*someone who had a natural love of children and always wanted to play with other people's kids

I mean, really, WHY would He pick me?

The verse in 2 Corinthians 12 is my answer. When He chooses someone so ill-suited for the job, it makes it clear to everyone that HE is the power behind the person. He is the one who gives the needed wisdom, strength and anything else we need. He is the one who does most of the parenting by guiding, leading, pursuing my kids. As I acknowledge my total dependence on Him for help, He gives me what I need for the job.

"How do you do it?" I am asked repeatedly. I can only say that I pray a lot. It isn't always easy but He does promise to help.

We often hear this verse quoted, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:19. Really? ALL things? Even adopt a child? Yes, all things. If He is calling you, He will enable you. You can do it!

Could there be a child waiting for you to say, "Yes, Lord?" Could you be the answer to someone's prayers? If you say no, maybe God will choose someone else to bless, but you will forever miss out on what He has planned to bless you with.
Are you breathing a sigh of relief because you are past the age of being an adoptive parent? Or too young to be one?'re not off the hook my friend! God commands us to take care of orphans. There is always something you can do to help. You can help the orphans directly through organizations like Love Without Boundaries or Morning Star Foundation, enabling them to get the care they need while they don't have families. Or you could help a family bring a child home--either a family you know personally, or through an organization like Shaohannah's Hope. We can all help! You will be blessed more than can imagine.


Lori said...

LOVE this post. I remember the first time and it is definitely worth repeating!

Kimberlie said...

This is a great post. One I needed this week. Thank you!

trustandobey said...

Great post, Karin! I think a lot of us can relate to the way you feel. Wonderful scripture to show God's wisdom and plan in using ordinary people to accomplish His extraordinary will.

Jean said...

I love this post! I didn't see it the first time around- so glad you shared it again!! Thank you!! You are a woman after my own heart! This is exactly what I needed to hear!

Tami said...

Oh Karin,

It just amazes me how God weaves lives together at just the right time. This post really spoke to my heart. We have started to feel that 'pull'....hear that whisper,(despite my fingers tightly in my ears and yelling very la la!!!)again that maybe we're supposed to bring another home. I do feel SO ill equipped at this point, feeling my plate is so full right could I handle another??? This pull doesn't feels so uncomfortable at this point...There are quite a few mountains in front of us to do this again....yet I know in my heart, especially in how apparent His hand was in our journey to Sophie, that He can do anything.

Thank you for this's so true. I/we know if we leave our hearts open to His will...He will lead us in His time. I think that first step of saying 'yes' is the hardest.

Lyn said...

Amen! Amen! Amen! Thanks for re-posting this. It's fun to see how far we've come since the Lord spoke to me the first time I read this. May I link I post a link to it from my blog?

My2Blessings said...

Karin, WONDERFUL post :) I NEEDED to hear your story this week more than anything...I feel like you were telling MY story...The not really being GOOD with kids...wanting kids after I married, at least one, maybe two...the PAIN of infertility...being called to adopt, first from China...being heartbroken when China told us NO during a 2nd attempt...finding our son in Guatemala...then our daughter from Ecuador "finding us" at age 4 two years ago. It hasn't been easy, in fact, it's been a real struggle! On so many HARD days I ask God, Wouldn't someone else be a BETTER mother for these kids than "old enough to be thier grandmother, mobility challenged, impatient, not as much fun as their dad" ME?? You are SO right when you say that if He calls us to something and we obey, His strength is made perfect in all our weakness!!! We CAN do the impossible through HIM!! OH BOY did I NEED to hear that this week when I have been feeling so weak and unequipped for this challenge!!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart...and thank you for listening to that nudge from God to post it again!!! He KNEW I needed to hear about you and your example!! So happy I've found you and I WILL follow your blog now!



lifeiswaitingforme said...

Not sure how I ended up finding your post exactly....other than He directed me here. As I struggle with a decision to adopt I too old....and a bunch of other reasons I have come up with to walk away.....I find your post.

Thank you for this reminder that we ARE equipped if HE is in our life.


Gretchen said...

Love this post now and the first time. Thanks for the reminder.

Tammy Darrow said...

Wow! What an amazing story! With the exception of infertility...I felt like I was reading part of my story! I've never been a "kid" person either...I am now a mother of 7...several adopted. I wouldn't change it for the world. God bless you!

David and Janet Hurley said...

So true, and you are amazing, because you listened and obeyed.
I don't like kids either--hehe--but have 6 so far. Janet

Joy@WhenDoesDaddyComeHome said...

Thank you for your candidness!

everybitterthingissweet said...

Got to your blog through a comment you left for, your story is beautiful. Your children are beautiful -- I see the light of God in their faces. I love your desire to have your heart broken for the things that break God's heart. Awesome.