Saturday, September 12, 2009

Why I Am Not the Person For This Job

I am not the right person for the job of being a Mom to ten kids. There. I said it.

Over the years I have heard a myriad of reasons why people cannot adopt. Sometimes they look at me and say they couldn't do what I do...I must be a saint...blah,blah, blah.

I want you to know that I am definitely NOT a saint.

The point of this post is to declare the truth of this verse. (God says) "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in (your)weakness." (Then the apostle Paul says) "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

You see, I never had any desire to have a large family. I don't even like kids. hahahaha Seriously....When I volunteer for something at church, it has almost always been a ministry to adults. I don't like kids crafts, kids activities, etc. Even as a kid, I preferred the company of adults. I did want have children, though...maybe two or three.

But then, God gave me the gift of infertility. He opened my eyes to a whole new world. The 'gift' at the time didn't feel like a gift. It hurt. Deeply. It was devastating every month to find out that my arms would be empty once again.

After 7.5 years, He blessed us with our first son and four years later another, both through the miracle of adoption. When our youngest was four, I attended a women's retreat where we were challenged to pray, "God, break my heart with something that breaks yours."

I began to pray that prayer and several months later, God showed me the need in China. A year later we traveled to adopt Jillian and we came home changed.

Dramatically changed.
From Untitled Album

Never had I seen with my own eyes living conditions that caused me to feel so uncomfortable with my own. Why was it that I lived in such luxury while others had so little? Was it possible that God wanted us to share more of what we had with those who had so little?

And so we began to pray that He would show us how we could help--and that He would break our hearts enough to take action. And in a few short weeks, He made it clear He wanted us to adopt again.

As the years passed, He has sent us again and again to China and once to Guatemala. Each time I ask Him what He is thinking asking ME?! I mean, I'm willing, but wouldn't it be better to send someone who would do a better job? You know like someone who could:
*stay organized
*do lots of fun kid activities
*read lots and lots of stories, play games, etc.
*someone who had lots of patience
*someone who didn't yell
*someone who had a natural love of children and always wanted to play with other people's kids

I mean, really, WHY would He pick me?

The verse in 2 Corinthians 12 is my answer. When He chooses someone so ill-suited for the job, it makes it clear to everyone that HE is the power behind the person. He is the one who gives the needed wisdom, strength and anything else we need. He is the one who does most of the parenting by guiding, leading, pursuing my kids. As I acknowledge my total dependence on Him for help, He gives me what I need for the job.

"How do you do it?" I am asked repeatedly. I can only say that I pray a lot. It isn't always easy but He does promise to help.

We often hear this verse quoted, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:19. Really? ALL things? Even adopt a child? Yes, all things. If He is calling you, He will enable you. You can do it!

Could there be a child waiting for you to say, "Yes, Lord?" Could you be the answer to someone's prayers? If you say no, maybe God will choose someone else to bless, but you will forever miss out on what He has planned to bless you with.
From Untitled Album

Are you breathing a sigh of relief because you are past the age of being an adoptive parent? Or too young to be one?'re not off the hook my friend! God commands us to take care of orphans. There is always something you can do to help. You can help the orphans directly through organizations like Love Without Boundaries or Morning Star Foundation, enabling them to get the care they need while they don't have families. Or you could help a family bring a child home--either a family you know personally, or through an organization like Shaohannah's Hope. We can all help! You will be blessed more than can imagine.


Kim K. said...

What a beautiful, heart-felt post. God bless you and your amazing family.

Michelle said...

What a beautiful post. God bless.

quilt-n-mama said...

What a beautiful post, I'm there with you. I feel like the least likely person God would call to be mama to 4 little ones with birthdays in 38 months of each other1 A challenge but a bless. THanks for the scriptures you shared, they really hit me this morning in the craziness:)

Melissa B. said...

OH Karin... how I love and miss you! Thank you for that post. Dealing with Isaac's ADD/bi-polar crap is weighing so heavy on me and I feel SO inadequate because it seems like all I do is get impatient and pissed off. You... the whole you... the broken parts, the redeemed parts... the whole of such a message of grace and the gospel to me. Love you!

Michele said...

What an amazing testimony. I know so many people that would be so blessed if they just opened their hearts to adoption. I hope to have the opportunity to share your blog and my heart for adoption with them in the near future.

Thank you for sharing!

Angie said...

Oh, man...are you putting that thought into my heart again??? We have been home 5 weeks with Amarin, and I'm already purusing Rainbowkids! My hubbie is having panic attacks! My question...what do I drive to get all my little ones to and fro??? Jacob is already saying, "For our next adoption..." He knows me all too well.

Lori said...

Ok, we find yet another thing we have in common. We don't like *kids*...heehee! I know exactly what you mean! I NEVER volunteer at church for anything kid-related! Well, except for the teenagers...I do kinda like them. But I lead the women's ministry at our church and that's where I'm happiest!

But I TOTALLY agree with every word of your post...we have an obligation as believers and my heart is wide open to however many kiddos the Lord wants us to adopt. And yes, I will love them to pieces!

Oh and btw, according to Paul in many of his epistles, if we are believers we ARE SAINTS! So wear the label proudly, friend! :)

Karin said...

What do drive...the million dollar question! We haven't figured that out yet, so we drive two vehicles everywhere. won't need to drive anywhere because you won't be able to leave the house with all those kids! ;)

Cari Bacon said...

Karin, this post hit home for me!

At first I'm laughing because I'm the same way...never volunteering for children stuff at church only adults. I've been called "a saint ...blah, blah, blah". People asking me to even watch their kids, because I MUST like, not really...especially other people's kids.

Then my laughter is turned to tears as I feel like God should have chosen someone else for the job. I'm no "Martha Steward". I don't like to cook. I can't sew or even iron clothes. I'm not an artsy person or like to play make believe games. I'm not very patience and embarrassed to admit that I do lose it at times and yell at my kids.

But for some reason, my heart does break for other people's pain and suffering (especially those without a mommy or daddy). If I could take away their hurts I would. I am so very ill-suited for this job, so everyone should know that HE is the strength, power, wisdom and everything else behind this person.

May I please link or copy this post to my blog in the near future?

Chris said...

Oh Karin! I like my own kids and will hold other people's babies, but I don't know either how I/we ended up w/ 5 probably 6 kids maybe more. I like to sew and cook when the mood strikes, but with kids you gotta cook ALL the time :^) You are right "why did God pick me?" After a rainy morning like today w/grouch kids I'm wondering what on earth I was thinking....
Bless you, you pray for us, we will keep praying for you.

Shonni said...

I've had relatives teasingly say that I turned out so well (meaning I was a little bit rebellious -ha), but then we all say, "Yes, look what the LORD has done!"

Kimberlie said...

Thank you for sharing your post. It's inspiring to me. I love my children, but I don't particularly like spending large amounts of time with other people's children. Somehow though, I have found myself recruited to teach the pre-K CCD class at my church. I start tomorrow. I'm scared. Thankfully I have two other co-teachers (2 of us will teach each week, the other has the week off).

I think that God is really wanting to wake up Christians with regard to our mandate to take care of orphans. I have posted about this, and I have read 4 other random blogs saying similar things. I really believe that God is beginning to move on behalf of the orphans of this world!

Lot's of hugs!

Cindy said...

Oh what a perfect post with perfect timing! Thanks for sharing your heart my friend. You made me laugh and cry at the same time!

James, Dawn and Family said...


Holly said...

Amen! That is totally how I am able to homeschool!
I am so very tired right now and overwhelmed with what I have on my plate and yet, when it all gets accomplished somehow, it will be GOD who gets the glory, not me.
Kids keep us on our knees :)

Lynsay said...

Ah Karin, I love it! And I love your honesty, because I never have been able to be this honest! And since you are, and half the people who have commented are, I have to admit, I too can't stand anything kid related! Haha! I have NEVER, NOT ONCE, found myself as sunday school teacher and I try my hardest not even to get near the room! I loved babies, not kids, before I had my own, and then, that feeling waned....big time...once I had my own!

I feel the same way sometimes, Lord, you must have the wrong woman! I don't like Ch much of the time, much less the kids. I hate bad smells, I HATE dirt, especially dirt that has questionable things in it!

But, He truly sustains me, as a mom to more than I ever dreamed!

Love you!

Kim K. said...

Karin - I posted a prayer request at the top of my blog. It links back to another family who is at the Cleveland Clinic with their adoptive daughter who underwent heart surgery on Wednesday. The mom and I have been corresponding for a while because she has a daughter with the same heart condition as Josie. She would love any and all prayers and comments right now.

GrangerBaxters said...

Karin, You are such a sweetie with such a heart of our God. I just LOVE you to death. Thanks for this post because I can do all things thru Christ. It's good to be reminded of that. He is everything...I am nothing!

Adeye said...

wooohoooo---I'm jumping up out of my seat here---that was AMAZING!!!! preach it, dear friend.

LOVE the pic pics too.

trustandobey said...

I don't think this truth could be said any better!

Beautiful Mess said...

Beautifully written, keep spurring us on!

Please pray that God would show these truths to my husband.

God willing!

Gretchen said...

My, Karin....I love you!

This was a great post. It speaks loudly about where we are at this point in our lives.

I read all of the comments. I love the honesty that these women portray. I too only like my kids ALOT. Others are ok. I NEVER volunteer for kiddie classes...not even VBS!! The shame!!

You are the best and you know I love you.

The Ferrill's said...

Karin...I feel like I could've written this post! YES, sister! His power is made perfect in weakness!
Amen and Amen...GREAT post!

Amy said...

I am totally not qualified to be the Mom of these 5 kids. I don't know why God would choose me, and why has he not taken the burden off of my heart. Surely I can't handle more children.... Surely we can't tighten the purse strings any tighter and afford another adoption... and then you have to go and write this post and get me to thinking...
(by the way, just now found your blog and looks like I am going to be busy checking it out!)
Many blessings,

Anonymous said...

Just beautiful. I love this post.
Overwhelmed mother of four and loving it.Thank you for the scripture.

soontobemomof9 said...

AMEN! What a wonderful post!

The pictures of the cribs just breaks my heart.....

Amy said...

Oh you are just awesome. I am still laughing at the "I don't even like kids" part. :0) LOL GREAT post!!

Love Without Boundaries said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen Maunu said...

This post was truly so beautiful. I love how God is using you...especially to show others the true meaning of living in God. You are an inspiration! Karen

Tammy said...

Beautifully said. I can totally relate. Thank you for sharing.


Teresa said...

New reader here, thanks to a link from Amy Eldridge. Really enjoyed your post, Karin. LOVED the scriptural references. Thanks for making my day and letting me know that I'm not alone, and His grace makes it all possible.

Blessings to you and your family.

Mary said...

You have inspired me to do two things today. One, I'm going to dig out the adoption paperwork that has been gathering dust while we wait for more money, more time, a bigger house...etc. And two, I'm going to finally sign up to be a volunteer for LWB. I have always wanted to do more for LWB, but never had someone kick me hard enough in the behind.

So, thank you.

Karin said...

Mary...I am so excited to know that you are going to adopt again...and that God let me be the one to kick you in the pants. wink,wink :)) Seriously, though, I am so deeply touched by what you wrote.

MarthaO said...

Beautiful. I smiled and then nearly cried. I NEVER liked kids (but love my own!) and am now the mother of 5...and advocate for thousands more. Please keep repeating the message over and over again. God works miracles through those who are brave enough (or crazy) to say YES.

Martha Osborne

James, Dawn and Family said...

lOVE the new blog

Jackie said...


Thank you so much for all your comments during my time in China to get Ciara. They have been greatly appreciated and I looked forward to each and every one of them.

And thank you for your honesty with this post. I must admit I did picture you as this person that missed their calling being a kindergarten teacher and just decided to build her own classroom, lol. It's so amazing when obedience to Our Father and a desire to please only Him outweighs anything we feel we can or can't do!


Elaine said...

Karen love your post and I can relate. I think at one time or another we all feel inadequate as parents. Thanks for being honest!

Lyn said...

I stumbled on your blog a year ago through Lori's blog, about the time that you wrote this post. It really hit home with me. I have 2 bio kids and a 4 year old from China. Her adoption (at 2 yrs old) was wonderful, but it rocked my world! I was content with the 3 kids I had. I am not a kid person - and definitely not a toddler person. But God was working on my heart. Lori was in China adopting Macy, and another family was in China adopting a 10 year old. Through their blogs and then your blog, God opened my heart to another adoption. We didn't make the salary to adopt a 4th child, but after reading this post, I told God I was willing. For 2 weeks I prayed that prayer, and then God raised our salary! We are now waiting on our Article 5 for our 5 year old son, who is in Guangdong. I thought you might want to know how God used you in the life of my family! Check out our Lucas at .