Friday, June 25, 2010

Good-bye Again...

Warning....raw emotion ahead...

Ryan is gone. We took him back to the airport today to fly back to SC. He will be flying to Korea tomorrow.

My heart hurts.

We are hoping to see him in 6 months. He is supposed to get a leave about then--which would put it around Christmas.

We were allowed to accompany him to the gate today with special passes. They are given to families who have a service person deploying. So unexpected...and so deeply appreciated. It was wonderful to have that extra hour with him. He was almost the last one to board the plane as we tried to tear ourselves away from each other. He was not wearing his uniform today--wanting to be in 'civies' (civilian clothes) as long as possible.

It was such an odd feeling to retrace the steps we had taken just one week ago with such excitement. Those feelings were replaced today with sadness and loss. But not forever...he will be home again. I keep telling myself that.

Jeff has had an even more emotional day. Ryan's truck completely died yesterday. We had to have it towed and junked for parts. Jeff had to take care of that and had such a hard time watching it being towed away on the same day that Ryan was leaving. It's like an end of an era.

Ryan's birthday is coming up on the 4th of July. For the first time in 20 years, we won't be celebrating with him. (Well, the first 4th of July, we weren't with him--but pacing the floors while his sweet birth mom was in labor.) We wanted to celebrate his birthday with him before he left but he really didn't want to. He didn't want us making a fuss. So...we went along with what he wanted. Since we live far away from family this year, it's also the first time in 20 years that we won't have family with us on the 4th. Jeff's parents came and watched us pace the floors that day in 1990 when Ryan was on his way into the world. I'm just not sure what to do with myself on the 4th this year. I don't even want to think about it. It just won't be the same. I walked into Target tonight and saw the 4th of July decorations and it just kind of felt like I got punched in the stomach. Ugh.
These boots were by the door this morning

This coat was on the chair

But before long, everything was in these duffel bags and we were off to the airport

We love you, Ryan

"No. You can't go."

Let's make a Ryan sandwich!

Family photo--but Jake and Katie were behind the big girls--oops.

Tearful good-byes

This is blurry but I still like it.

Brothers trying to hug without looking like they actually like each other

More emotion--this picture makes me cry

Determined not to cry, the girls keep the smiles going

At the more hug from Dad

One more picture of the best buddies
(We pause this emotional saga by making mention of the shirt I bought Ryan for his birthday. Yes, it IS a Beavis and B*tthead, with 'pull my finger.' I'm sorry, but the whole Uncle Sam reference and Ryan being military was just funny.)

Good-bye, sweet boy. We love you so.

We went directly to Jake ultrasound from the airport and happily, everything looked fine with Jake's kidney's. Thank you for all your sweet comments and encouraging words.


trustandobey said...

We know that every wonderful Hello with Ryan will have a wrenching Goodbye to follow (for a while at least). But Christmas will be here before you know it!!! And what a super time to get him back home again! Praying for Ryan's continued safety in every way!! And praying for mom and dad's comfort level and peace:)
ps-Yeah for 2 kidneys!!! Praise God!!!

Tori said...

Why does a week have to go so fast?! Praying for your peace and his safety. And that shirt, I noticed it before you pointed it out because that is the humor of Kevin and his brother (a former army major) and that was perfect!
Have a great weekend!!

Maybe we could find a curling tournament to go to on the 4th. Now that would be a new tradition for you!! HA!!

sara said...

ok you have to quite using the little print in the emotional posts. my 49 yr old eyes have a hard time reading it anyway, but with tears in my eyes it is completely impossible! :)

oh Karin, I am praying for you and will be praying for Ryan. I can't come close to knowing how your heart is hurting but I am praying that God will gift you with a special 4th of July this year in a way only He can.

love you!

Meredith said...

That was a quick visit! We will definitely be thinking about you all over the 4th. My kids keep asking if we are going to see you guys over the 4th and we say no, not this year but that would be fun to visit you over the 4th some time! Hope you guys can make some new traditions for the 4th. Being in the Boston area, I sure there are some great places to go!
We'll be in continued prayer for our dear Ryan.
Praise God about little Jake!!!!

Holly said...

I can't say I understand because I don't. It's different being the wife than being the Mama.
I do know the feeling you get in your tummy when you see those boots and that jacket knowing that in mere hours they will be trace of them and the house will have a certain emptiness. I know what it is like to have children relying on you so you can't just sit and get all depressed and stay there! I know that with time, you get used to the absence though some days it hits you like a physical punch in the gut. I know that most of America will never truly understand the sacrifice. I know that those who serve know that and serve ANYWAY.
Trusting God as always to work all this out for GOOD, in Ryan's life, in your lives and in the lives of those whom Ryan will touch and have influence over.

Sharon said...

Okay, I'm sitting here crying! I know this had to be so hard for you and Jeff. Hang on to the fact that he'll be home in 6 months. I'm so glad you all had this time together.

Happy to hear Jake is fine! Great news!!!

Shonni said...

I am so sorry. I will be praying for you all... The pictures really are precious!

AlaynaGainer1姿吟 said...


James, Dawn and Family said...


Cari said...

i can just feel the emotion through all the pictures. i'm sorry you are having to go through these tough good-byes over and over. being the mom is not easy is it?!