Friday, February 06, 2009

Crying for China Mama

Kate and Zoey had a tough day. I don't know what triggers their grieving (usually it is when we say no to something they want), but all of a sudden they will start crying and wailing. Kate had a meltdown this morning and started yelling 'bu yao' and pushing me away. Then she started yelling, "Mama, Mama," and I knew I wasn't the Mama she was crying for. My heart was breaking for her as she grieved for her China Mama. Afterwards, she hugged me and cuddled, so her rejection is very short-lived, thankfully.

Tonight it was Zoey's turn to have a meltdown. As I held her, I thought about how hard it must be for them to have lost all that is familiar. We communicate on a simple level, but there are many Chinese words that I don't know. This has to be frustrating for them. The language spoken all around them is unfamiliar, the food is different, WE are different. The people who loved them in China are no longer a part of their lives. At times, I think they just get overwhelmed with it all and need to have a good cry (or major hissy fit!).

It also made me think of times that God has to say no to us so that He can give us something better. In the short-term, it still can be so very painful. For Zoey and Kate, they have lost something they held dear (their lives in China) but gained something better--a permanent family to belong to. At the moment, that probably does not always seem like a good trade because they don't see the full picture. With patience and love, hopefully, their little hearts will heal.

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