Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Real Mom's Don't Let Teens Use Their Cell Phones

A few weeks ago we went to the beach. The Teen had purchased himself a brand new phone and was playing with it while we frolicked in the sand.

A while later I noticed that he and Jeff were up to something.
They were laughing hysterically and pointing phones in the direction of a spectacle up the beach.

And then I noticed that the Teen was playing with my phone.
It would seem that the camera on my phone was better than his or something.

When I checked on the source of their hilarity they told me that there was a guy sitting there who was um...rather large...and looked as if he was wearing a sweater.
Except it was his hair.

I rolled my eyes.
It was what could be expected by a juvenile teen.
And it WAS kinda funny.

Later I noticed that there were about 5 or 6 photos of said man on my phone.

The following morning I received a call.
A very odd call.

It went something like this:
Me: Hello?
Unknown (older female) person: Who am I talking to?
Me: What?
UP: Who is this?
Me: Who am I talking to? {thinking....how rude is this person?!}
UP: Who am I talking to?

{Yes...this conversation actually occurred.} Sigh....

Me: Who are you wanting to speak to?

UP: Is this your phone?

Me: Yes.

UP: {using her angry voice} I received an obscene photo texted to me from your phone of a nude man on a beach.

Me: WHAT?!!!!

UP: Yes. I don't appreciate it AT ALL!!! I'm considering contacting the authorities.

Me: {Thinking mean thoughts about my teen} I am SO SORRY. My son was playing with my phone yesterday. I assure you that I would not send you an obscene photo. I am a 40+ woman with children!

UP: {calming down slightly} Oh. Well. {insert huffing} I can hear that you have children. {For once I was glad that they were being obnoxiously loud when I was on the phone}

Me: {wanting to say, "Oh yes! Lots and lots of them!!} I am so sorry. I will definitely be speaking to my son.

{Insert me wanting to pinch his little head off because I am thinking that he chose some random phone number to text the photo to. And I am also envisioning the news headlines..."Mom of 10, leading double life, found to be texting creepy photos to strangers." }

We finally hung up when I was reasonably sure she would not be contacting the authorities. I began plotting how I would punish my son.

When he got home, I asked him if he had sent a text from my phone while at the beach. He said, "Yes, I sent the picture from your phone to mine but I never got it."

Me: Yeah. {I think I should get some credit here because I refrained from saying something snotty like, "Yeah, genius. Do you think you might have typed in an incorrect phone number?} You just got your phone--did you possibly type the number wrong when you sent 'yourself' the photo?

Teen: I don't know. Maybe.

Me: Well...I just got a call from a very irate woman who says that *I* sent her an obscene photo of a naked man on a beach. {For the record, the man was NOT naked...it's just that he was sitting down and his swim suit was riding fashionably low.}

Teen: {Looking sheepish} Oh. Let me recheck my number.

The mystery was solved when we realized that the Teen had transposed two numbers and had sent the hideous photo to some poor {now traumatized} older woman who thought she was being targeted in some devious scam.


I love being a mom.

And I love my teen. I can't wait until I have a house full of them.
Let's see....
Next year = 2 teens
In two years = 3 teens
In three years = back down to 2
In four years = still 2
In five years = 3
In six years = 4
In seven years = 5
In eight years = 7 teens living in our house {that is the year I am making my official reservation at the nut house}


Gretchen said...

Bwahhhahhahahahhahhahahhaha.....that was the BEST POST EVER!!!!!!

Lori said...

Oh my word. Oh my word. OH MY WORD!! That dang kid! I sure wish he would have mistakenly sent it to MY phone. I could have seriously used a good laugh and the cheap (very cheap) thrill.

Oh my.

This really beats all and is the perfect story for his wedding day toast.

Tesseraemum said...

OH YEA! You must write it down so you remember to tell his future wife!!
I am still trying to get a photo of my 11 yr old who shaved off her eyebrows. oh, yes, yes, she did. We will certainly be sharing her special story with her children AND grandchildren.. Sheri

sara said...

oh my word, that is hilarious....well, at least it is on my side of the computer!!!

as far as those stats....hit your knees NOW!!!

quilt-n-mama said...

I needed to laugh until I cried today in this crazy adoption wait. Thanks for making my day!!!!
That is so funny!!!!

Kim Priestap said...

How did you keep your cool and not ban him from his phone for, I don't know, forever?

Angie said...

Ha! Sounds like when my boys called a friend and sang happy birthday to him last week. Except they inverted two digits, too, and when I hit redial (to speak to the friend), I had an interesting phone call with an elderly man whose birthday did just happen to be the day before. He was wondering who it was that sang to him a day late...

Sharon said...

Oh, the joys of being a mother. It really is funny though, especially since it happened to you and not me for once! :) Thanks for giving me a good laugh today, I needed it!

Kristin Ferguson said...

This is hilarious! Did you and said teen go out for a latte and have a good laugh about it? I would have! Send the teens to me! I love hanging out with them and pretending to be one again! hahahahaha (Sounds to me that Jeff counts as one of your teens so add him into your count.) tee hee

Kimberlie said...

7 teens? At once?!? I almost had to take a sedative just reading that. :)

Gotta love those teenaged boys. I don't have one yet, BUT, I have a brother that just turned 23 yrs and I am not far removed from his teen years and the seemingly lack of any common sense.

Kim K. said...

Just image the fun that Jake will get into by the time he is a teenager!!! This is a fabulous post and I'm also glad it's YOU and not ME!

James, Dawn and Family said...

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!!!!

Stacyonthecouch said...

Just stumbled upon your blog and thought this was a hilarious summer-with-teens story. Good luck, from now until 7 years from now :)

Jennifer O'Cain said...

Oh my so funny! SOunds like it could be my life. Just yesterday I was thinking that I will have 3 in High School together. At least I have a few years to prepare.

Anonymous said...

yes indeed the nuthouse it is...7 teens at one time...oh my my my!

Belle said...

hi i love your blog im starting a blog i hope it will be as good as yoursessisga

Serving the King said...

Oh my goodness I would comment on this but I am laughing too hard!

Blessed Mom of Four AND More said...

That was funny! And, that sounds like the kind of thing that could have happened at my house.